...whatever...

Mom's over on her blog, whining about how the TV stand is the same color as the walls.

@BoonesMom: stop being over dramatic. It all looks grey to me.

Atticus...More Like Nemesis

I can't help but notice Mom has been spending a lot of time with the biggest jerk of all time, Atticus. I don't see the appeal of him. He's little, with sharp claws, and he knows zero tricks. He can't shake or stay or even sit. He just does what he wants all the time.

Adding insult to injury, she's cuddlwing with him while wearing her Golden Retriever sweatshirt. He's such a jerk.

Broncos Must Be Meanies

I don't even know what a Bronco is, but I hate it. My dad is probably going to disown me, because he seems to really, really like whatever it is. And I don't even think we live in Omaha. C'mon dad.

The reason I don't like the Broncos is my dad bought a new TV because "Peyton is going to the Super Bowl." I don't know who Peyton is either, but going to my bowl is my favorite time of day, so I understand why Dad is excited for that guy. What's not so exciting is that my parents came home with a big, big box and I had to wait in my bedroom while Mom and Dad had playtime without me.

Bummer.

This is why I have decided Broncos must be meanies: they lead to TVs which lead to Boone-free playtime. And they won't even share all the food that's in their super bowl. So Broncos are meanies, just like Atticus.

What Does Booney Dream of When He Takes a Little Booney Snooze?

Does he dream of mauling Atty
or licking a peanut butter spoon?

Don't you worry your pretty fluffy head,
you can sleep all night in your cozy chair-slash-bed.

And then you can stretch out your paws,
and then you can suppress you dream-time growls.

Booney, Booney, Booney, Booney, Boone,
Boone, Booney, Booney, Booney, Boone, Boone

And if you get swatted by you little cat brothers,
then you're shit out of luck.

What's Bubble Wrap?

Goodness gwacious, what is this super fun thing?! Mom, why have you never given me this treat before? And why are you watching me so closely while I play with it?

Pwease order more stuff from West Elm so I can pop some more balloons.

Now back to playing!

King of the Castle

Now that the windchill is down to zero degrees, mom stole all the blankets to stay warm and she cast off all the "decorative" pillows. Which means I get a pretty sweet pillow-fort to lay on. Mom said something about the prince and the pea, whatever that means.

In case some of you puppy-kindergarten-drop-outs can't count, that's six pillows under me. And that makes me higher than the back of the couch where Grouchicus usually naps, so I win.

The one downside is I wanted to play during all my potty breaks with positive windchills, so now I need to poop. I don't think mom is going out before morning.

Stay warm fur-less fwiends. Doggy buddies: use the potty when given the chance. And go fast so you and your human can come in and warm your paws.

No fwiends, no fun.

Mom is leaving me to go see Uncle Hall's new house. And Dad won't be home for like 14 hours (2 "people hours"). What am I going to do?!

I can't even play with my kitty-bwothers because Leo and Jerkicus are hiding out upstairs.

Alllllll byyyyy myseeeeelf. Don't wanna be alllllll byyy myseeellllf. Anymore.

Hi Guys!

Boone here. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm on the internets now, having fun and making fun of my mom. Pwease stop by from time to time to see what I've been up to. And bring treats.